Moving in together with your other half might seem like an awesome idea but there are some things to consider. Yes, there are many Pro’s but have you also considered the Con’s and what to do when things don’t go as planned. Before moving in with you other half here are a few things you should seriously do and consider..
1. TALK ABOUT IT.. A LOT
There’s a lot to work out before taking this step. You’ll need to talk about who pays for what, what rent is affordable, where you can both live that will make you both happy, who buys groceries, etc. If these are intense conversations for you, and you don’t feel ready to have them, you might not be ready to move in together. If you’re happy to sit down and figure it all out together, then great! This won’t be as hard as it is for lots of other people.
2. CREATE RULES
It might seem unromantic, but you’ve never spent this much time together before. You should talk about what you will, and will not need from the other person. If you have to be a little bit brutally honest, go for it, because this is far better than getting mad at her when she tries to have a heart to heart with you right when you get home from work. Explain that when you first come home at night, you will need to be alone for half an hour. Make it clear that you hate when people make egusi for breakfast because of the smell. And say these things before they happen, so your significant other understands what you need from the person you live with. These aren’t trivial matters if they’re going to bother you, so lay the groundwork for getting along in the future.
3. MOVE INTO A NEW SPACE
Moving in together is less problematic when you find a brand new space to share together. If you move into his place, or he moves into yours, you could wind up feeling like someone’s encroaching on your territory. That bathroom that used to be yours needs to be rearranged to fit two people, and suddenly you have too much of your own stuff in the pantry with no room for someone else’s food. It’s easier to meld when you are both bringing in your things and finding new places for them.
4. DON’T DO IT OUT OF GUILT
Maybe you’ve been together for a long time, the lease is up on your apartment, and your significant other wants to move. All the stars seem to have aligned in favor of you two living together, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to pull the trigger. It shouldn’t be a decision based on convenience, thinking “it’s about time,” or feeling like all of your friends are doing it. You should move in together because you genuinely want to be with that person more. Maybe you are thinking about marriage, and want to make sure you can live together first. It’s also possible you both think it would be fun and bring you closer. But both parties need to be “into” the idea. It’s not about checking another box on your relationship “list,” or finding a new roommate. It’s about wanting to take the next step, together.
5. HAVE SOME ALONE TIME
At first, living with your boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé, or maybe even wife/husband is going to seem like a lot. Someone you used to see a lot will become someone you see all of the time, or at least a lot more. Don’t lose yourself in the process. Make sure that you each have a space within your new place to get away, be it the apartment gym, a nearby restaurant, the rooftop pool, or your buddy’s apartment down the hall. You need space too.
6. INVITE GUESTS OVER
This is a great way to increase your appreciation for each other. When you have other people over, you might realize how relaxing and comforting it is to just be alone (not to diss your guests). You will also entertain your guests together, which is a fun way to bond and share the life you’ve built together. It’ll make you all the more proud of what you’ve created in the home you two share.
7. ALLOW THEM BE MESSY.. OR CLEAN
It’s hard to surrender yourself to other people’s cleanliness habits, but generally speaking, they don’t change. If she always leaves her shoes in the hall, and you always have to remind her to pick them up, don’t count on that going away. You might have to learn to step over the shoes, or put them away yourself. If it drives you nuts that he needs everything in the draw to be arranged just so, let him just rearrange everything. It’s no skin off of your back. These are the kinds of things that generally speaking, are very engrained in people. The best you can do is offer reminders to clean up, or if you’re the messy one, try to keep your mess confined to your own closet/office/desk drawers.