So it was an awkward breakup, maybe a nasty one, but hey, you can still be Facebook friends right? Wrong! Even though the thought of keeping tabs or even having tabs kept on you, sounds so appealing – we have to think about what we are going to put ourselves through.
The best thing – all depending on your situation – would be to press that unfriend, or if you do not have the energy to deal with the chain reaction of conflict and confusion, to press that unfollow button.
Being the queen of commitment issues and an INFP that allows me to hate conflict and avoid it at all costs, I always find myself placed in that awkward position and conversation that ends with, ‘Maybe we are just better as friends.’
Kudos for those of you who can be the best buddies after a romantic endeavor (barbecues with the new girlfriend is always fun). However, for most of us, this will never be. This is not some fairy-tale where we all are wearing pink poofy dresses, sipping martini’s and waiting for our Prince Charmings to come and pick us up in their white Lamborghini’s and wisp us away to some magical island, while we falsely and quite surely sing Kumbayah.
So without further ado, here are three reasons that will persuade you to unfollow your ex now:
1. You will learn to let go
Whether you were the one who did the heart-breaking or whether it was him – the reality of the matter is: you’ve got to let him go. Having pictures of him with other girls, or even the polar opposite, having status updates of him declaring his love for you and how he misses you, pop up in your newsfeeds will only anger and confuse you. And frankly, you do not deserve all that drama.
There is a reason it did not work out between you two – you’ve got to let that ish go, literally and figuratively. It is the only way you will be able to go on with your life and this brings me to my second point.
2. This is no episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians
Yes, do not deny it, we all love that reality TV binge that is filled with drama and glamour, and which allows us to forget about our real lives for a second. However, we need to wake up from that slumber and realize that we are currently in the real life, and it is moving forward at a pace that will put Wayde van Niekerk to shame and so should we.
Waiting for him to call or show up in front of your door with tears in his eyes and a bottle of wine in his hands is a dangerous thing. If this happens, my advice to you is to grab that bottle of wine from his hands and slam that door as fast as a lightning bolt in his face.
This notion to fantasize a reunion is not necessarily only done by those who was broken up with, but many times it happens to the ones who did the breaking up too – we all still long for that Bridget Jones movie-moment. However, we have got to move on. It is unhealthy to hold on to a fantasy.
3. Independent worth
It is a custom for men, especially those we are dating or are in a serious relationship with, to tell us how beautiful, talented and wonderful we are. However, we cannot let what they say define us in any way and place us in certain categories, especially as 21st century feminists. Their opinions simply cannot be allowed to determine our worth.
Once you learn to let go and move on – you will start discovering who you are alone, how powerful, how wold-changing, how independently worthy you are. And that is your weapon – one that will never leave, nor forsake you at the first chance for betrayal, abuse or at the first sight of an approaching storm.
Even though I often speak lightly of this matter, it is a big decision to unfriend or unfollow your ex. I urge you to really consider why you want to do this, weigh the pros and cons and what you stand to gain or lose – but most importantly, consider what is the best and most healthy for you as a 21st century, spectacular woman.
If you still find it hard to decide to unfollow your ex, go pour yourself a glass of your most expensive bottle of wine, put on some empowering Beyoncé tracks and go and tap into your inner Queen B – she will know what to do.