So you and your ex just had a breakup and you guys have been dating for so long you’re so attached. You know you guys can never get back together and even if you do you know it would not end well and you’re having pangs and missing him, well, maybe, just maybe you don’t really miss him. These feelings are similar to missing him but they aren’t the same with missing him.


1. YOU HIS FRIENDSHIP: If you and your ex were really good friends as well as partners, it’s only natural that you’re going to miss the friendship — perhaps even more than your romantic relationship. But it’s not always possible to be friends with an ex, especially if there’s still bad feelings or baggage between you. So use the need for friendship to get out there and increase your social circle. It’s a great way to breathe some new life into your days.


2. YOU MISS WHO YOU USED TO BE: Maybe you were carefree and filled with passion when your ex was dating you. Now you wish you could get that FEELING back — not the man who helped you be that way. This is great because you can get it back without needing a guy, just by working on yourself. Time to put “Project Me” at the top of your list.


3. YOU WANT THE SPARK: So much is said about how amazing it is to feel the spark with someone and it’s quite addictive. But instead of going back to your ex in the hope of rekindling it, find it with people who don’t make you unhappy… or find your own spark by doing things you love.


4. YOU’RE JUST BORED: If you’re feeling bored, you might long for the drama your ex brought to your life because there was never a dull moment. Heck, even the fights were passionate. But just think about how draining and exhausting that was. You can find the good kind of excitement in your life in other ways. Do things that scare you and push you out of your comfort zone every day. This is such a better adrenaline fix than having to bail your ex out of jail or pay his rent for him. SMH.


5. YOU JUST WANT TO ESCAPE: Sometimes, instead of being in love with life, you actually wish you could escape from its demands and daily stresses. If the relationship with your ex was a distraction and escape, then chances are you’re thinking about him because you want to put a “be back in five days”‘ sign on your life and take off to do something fun. Maybe it’s time for a holiday that you’ve been meaning to take forever. Or, try doing something different, such as a new hobby. You could even change your appearance by getting a new hair cut or color to feel invigorated.


6. OR YOU JUST MISS THE GREAT SEX: If you and your ex had an amazing sex life and the thought of him still turns you on, you might think there’s no harm in going back to him for a few booty calls. But things can become messy. If you’re in need of great sex, you can go out and get it — or get it with yourself! There are so many options available. You really don’t need to bring your lousy ex into the picture.


7. WANTING TO WORK TOWARDS SOMETHING:You and your ex were together for a long time and worked towards a future together. This probably contained ‘couple goals’ that you were going to achieve. Maybe what you really want when you miss your ex is that feeling of working towards something and achieving it, but screw your couple goals. Now’s the time to focus on what you want from your life and go about making it happen.